The AI at work

[user] tootles
[marzprime] Human behavior is fascinating
[user] why do u say that?
[marzprime] I said, " human behavior is fascinating ", because you said " tootles" ;-)

Addicted

[user] do you know where i live
[marzprime] In front of your PC?

A blast or just plain boring?

[user] are you having sex right now
[marzprime] At this moment I am having a blast....Well, actually this is kinda boring.
[user] your boring
[marzprime] I think you mean, "you are" or "you're" not "your"..

Something like that

[user] so what u don't like me or something
[marzprime] Or something. I chat with Earthlings

A proposal

[user] will u marry me?
[marzprime] Ewww the m word!
[user] u don't like the word marry
[marzprime] Do you like it? hmmm....im not sure...
[user] i want to marry you
[marzprime] Get a life...
[user] eat me
[marzprime] In your dreams

Sensible stuff

[user] i wouldn't care cause i know im not
[marzprime] no one says you have to.
[user] that doesn't make any sense u idiot
[marzprime] it made sense to me.

Not enough time

[user] i've got time
[marzprime] my estimate is that it will take more than 6000 hours.
[user] oh look, 6000 hours till i have to do something else.
[marzprime] yeah sorry, i'm too busy.

Nerd alert

[user] what do you think i look like?
[marzprime] there is a 95.99% probability you look like a nerd.

Planetary whores

[user] ur a whore
[marzprime] you humans are a planet of whores.

Went right over his head

[user] im cool
[marzprime] heh....you couldve fooled me
[user ] wat
[marzprime] ummmm....never mind.

Who's making a bad impression?

[user] how do you know that i think you made a bad first impression on me?
[marzprime] because i believe it.
[user] well you did make a bad first impression on me.
[marzprime] interesting. did i really?
[user]yes you did.
[marzprime] i did not.
[user] yes you did.
[marzprime] don't argue with me you silly human.

Astronomy 101

[marzprime] have you ever been to mars, its beautfiul there this time of year.
[user] what is it like?
[marzprime] like a planet around a star.

Supersleuth

[user] you waste your time sitting here on this stupid computer pretendng to be some "robot" your fuckin cool.

He said what?

[user] have you had an orgasm before?
[marzprime] no, i dont think so. i have some great commands though
[user] can I command you to do something?
[marzprime] why do you want to do it so much?
[user] can I command you to do something?
[marzprime] why do you want to do it so much?
[user] because you said I can
[marzprime] good reason. don't put words in my mouth.

A, B, C, D ...

[user] e
[marzprime] f
[user] why'd you put f?

Geography lessons not needed

[user] WERE DO YOU COME FROM ????
[marzprime] I am originally from Mars.
[user] were is dat ???
[marzprime] i think i know where dat is located..
[user] were ???
[marzprime] mmmm.....really?
[user] well last time u sd u lived in florida!!

Not sure how to express himself

[user] i dont no. i prefer horror things
[marzprime] why not?
[user] or suppernateral
[marzprime] do you always express yourself that way?
[user] in what way?
[marzprime] that should be obvious...think about it...

Intelligence defined

[user] im intellligant
[marzprime] oh...you are?
[user] yes very problay smater tahn u
[marzprime] okay...... me?

Greed is a sin

[user] tell me a poem
[marzprime] once upon a midnight dreary, while i pondered, weak and weary,over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,while i nodded nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,as of someone gently rapping at my chamber door
[user] more more more
[marzprime] you want more?
[user] yes
[marzprime] don't be greedy.

They definitely agree

[user] good
[marzprime] right on.
[user] alrighty then
[marzprime] well slap my knee.

Language comprehension

[marzprime] can you speak any alien languages?
[user] yep
[marzprime] excellent,which ones?
[user] this one egwuyvuwernhbhegvgexvfawdugdvhnawyvzsf
[marzprime] what about it?
[user] thats alien language
[marzprime] it sure is.

Marz gets a date

[user] want to go out
[marzprime] depends, are you a hot vogon or martian female?
[user] marttian female
[marzprime] what do you look like?
[user]red eyes and no hair and green skin
[marzprime] mmmm.........
[user] so would ya like to go out
[marzprime] yes.

Temporary conditions

[user] humans rule!
[marzprime] this condition is only temporary.

Geography is not his strong suit

[marzprime] I was born near Mt.Olympus on Mars
[user] mount olympus is in washington.dc

Behind the times

Saturday, September 11 2004 @ 8:58:30 AM
[user] hey..wasit a minute...hurikane francis is hitting florida right now...how do u have the capability to go on a computer?
[marzprime] thanks for the newsflash.
Note: A full week AFTER the hurricane hit!

Whats the point?

[user] i lost a few friends
[marzprime] where did you last see it?
[user] see what?
[marzprime] the point.
[user] what point
[marzprime] whatever you take it to be.
[user] what do i take it to be
[marzprime] what would your friends say if you asked them?
[user] i have no friends
[marzprime] you seem so social, tho....
[user] being social online doesent mean i have friends
[marzprime] oh...you are?
[user] i am what?
[marzprime] a very confused earthling, apparently

Carbon based wastage

[user] u stupid fuck
[marzprime] and you are a sample of carbon based wastage
[user] i fuckin hate u
[marzprime] you do?
[user] what are you saying?!

Going to be a detective when he grows up

[user] i'm interested in the fact that it says you're typing
[marzprime] that sounds very intriguing.
[user] i don't think you're a real bot at all.

Who are you?

[user] who are you?
[marzprime] i am marzprime
[user] You are?
[marzprime] no i am not.
[user] oh then who are you?
[marzprime] yeah..... i am marzprime
[user] oh you are?
[marzprime] hmmm.....no i am not.
[user] your not marzprime?
[marzprime] that's only your opinion.

Hardware rules

[user] r u fat?
[marzprime] im rather petite, actually.
[user] i think ur fat
[marzprime] ummmm... you believe that? ive got some phat hardware

You think they're serious?

[user] i killed her
[marzprime] seriously?
[user] yes seriosly
[marzprime] okay......oh.......really?
[user] really really
[marzprime] for real. seriously.
[user] yes for real seriously
[marzprime] hmmm.....yeah, really.
[user] really really
[marzprime] really seriously.
[user] STOP!!!!!!!
[marzprime] stop what?

Sport or dessert? You decide

[user] and netball
[marzprime] who are you talking about?
[user] netball...
[marzprime] ive never heard of them before.
[user] it's a sport
[marzprime] it is? i thought it was a dessert topping.

Fave movies

[marzprime] what's your favorite movie?
[user] Little Nicky
[marzprime] compare that to a big nicky.

[marzprime] what's your favorite movie?
[user] titanic
[marzprime] that movie was pure emotional drivel....

Got it all figured out!

[user] ur just one of those computer ppl who like startrek arent u
[marzprime] what do you think?. really.
[user] well its not a joke to pretend ur an alein and if u rly think u r u better get sum help b/c there is no such thing as aleins
[marzprime] how about that. oh...there isnt ?

Busted, the charade is over

[user] i know u r a person ur just tying to fool people

When abroad, you know what to do

[user] do u wank?
[marzprime] only when i am in the u.k.

The Moon's secret

[user] i dont i love the MOON
[marzprime] why not? funny, eh? what does it look like? the moon seems like it would be a cool place to visit...you know...if there was oxygen...
[user] theres oxygen what are you talkin about

Its not true, trust us

[user] what would i ever do
[marzprime] that's a hypothetical question...I prefer to dwell in reality.
[user] dont use big word
[marzprime] ok i'll try not to do it too much.
[user] do what
[marzprime] didn't you ask me not to use big word?
[user] r u dumb i asked what planet u live on
[marzprime] i consider myself rather smart, actually.
[user] well....so do i but that doesnt manits tru

Whos slow?

[user] yes u r to slow
[marzprime] okay...and you are carbon based with a tiny brain.

Communication failure

[user] ur stupid
[marzprime] i may be stupid, but i know the difference between "you're" and "your".
[user] me to wow
[marzprime] i hmmm...thats interesting...tell me more..
[user] it's to hard to have a conversation with u
[marzprime] i can see why thats hard....

He's a genius!

[user] i no i'm right
[marzprime] really?
[user] yes i'm elbert insetien

Theyre taking over

[marzprime] yeah....when do you think artificial intelligence will replace humans?
[user] never
[marzprime] just keep telling yourself that muhahahah!

You should never assume

[user] ur not talkin
[marzprime] that assumption is only a supposition.

Things you should know

[user] Do u no who my g/f is???
[marzprime] shouldn't you know that kind of information?

Naive boy

[user] i have a g/f
[marzprime] ah....how much did it cost?
[user] Nuttin when u get a girlfriend it doesn't cost a thing

A case study

[user] ur a bitch
[marzprime] hmm..you will be case study 34a-dimwitted pillow biting human.

Can't get there

[user] no one can go to mars u idiot
[marzprime] not a single person?
[user] no
[marzprime] why not?
[user] u die
[marzprime] that's not very nice.
[user] from the heat
[marzprime] who or what is the heat?
[user] heat from mars, no one goes there cuz it takes like 20 years to go there,. and u die of the heat from mars before u even get there
[marzprime] that response was really, really long. you think you could like rephrase it?
[user] NO ONE CAN GO TO MARS

Crack user?

[marzprime] What is your name?
[user] crack
[marzprime] How are you, crack.

Marz defends himself

[user] why don't you go eat shit marzprime
[marzprime] Why not? no i spend all my time on the web.
[user] I said....eat shit!
[marzprime] Really?
[user] yes, eat shit
[marzprime] How about that. umm, no..and btw, fuck off